Crouching Tiger and Why I'm Writing Again

Once every few years, I remember that this film exists and am filled with a great deal of enthusiasm to watch it again. For anyone who knows me, if I like a movie, I usually loop it a million times over until I'm done with it and usually within a month or two, I'm back to watching it again on repeat. Crouching Tiger, however, never seems to join this queue. I think it's because it's so saturated with so many different levels of fantastic that I can't rightfully do that because it almost seems dishonorable. No, instead I watch it once, leave it for a good while and return to it with fresh eyes so that I can re-experience everything all over again. Yesterday was that day for me.

I feel like every time I watch it there's something completely new that I'm in awe over than the last. Most recently it seems that it was the sudden realization that this is the first and to a degree, only film in which I can say that there are women that I admire, respect, and am incredibly proud to see being represented in the film media. I've got my heroines that I love, don't get me wrong. But I can't rightfully say that I love them in the same way that I love the women in this film. Nay, it seems like for the most part my favorite female heroines in movies are taken from a cookie cutter and just a few things changed (possibly with the exception of Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice ... possibly). I love them all the same but man...

I suppose first I should explain my issue with female characters as a whole in film. They seem to follow into very repetitive and similar categories. Either you're pretty and dumb, pretty and smart, or pretty and bad ass. And though technically all the women in this movie can fall into the last category, one thing that bothers me over all is that in a lot of films, there's such a strong emphasis on a woman's beauty and physical looks that it tends to detract from any other characteristics that she may have. I understand it and get it. We're very visual creatures and naturally gravitate towards things that are visually appealing, but why does it seem like that's the major crutch for female characters everywhere? It's as if there's a strong feeling like female characters rightfully cannot exist unless they're attractive (that is, unless she's supposed to be the hilarious side kick who's the constant target of jokes that are almost entirely based on how she looks).

There's also the "Disney Issue", for lack of a better term. Where heroines seem to exist for the sole purpose of finding a man for whom she can slave away the rest of her life to, and yes, I know that this doesn't apply to every Disney movie, but for the most part it's painfully true. I'm not going to go on a rant about how this is setting a terrible example for little girls everywhere because, truth be told, I feel like a lot of what a little girl should be getting to help develop who she is to become should start at home. It's more that it just gets tiresome and repetitive. I can't shake that it's so much easier for male characters to have a film where they're the heroes and love isn't this ultimate goal but rather an add on to the mass of success that they've established in their journey.

And this is where Crouching Tiger makes me squeal.

Yes. There's a love story.

Yes. The female leads are pretty.

But MAN. They have DEPTH.

Michelle Yeoh's character, to be exact, is the woman who keeps stealing my heart in this movie. Maybe it's because in a lot of ways I identify with her, but it's so refreshing to see a female lead who's both strong, isn't dependent on her looks to steal the show, and is capable of having an actual love story in which that is not a terrible crutch on which they've built her character. I suppose the emphasis is stronger when placed next to her fellow female lead Zhang Ziyi who does seem to spend a bit more time dependent on her level of attractiveness (though I suppose that's only fair due to her being a noble and so much of her costuming is built around the fact that she can outright afford to be that manicured). It's also just nice to see a female character who has a protective nature without being coddling. She knows when to draw the line and she knows when it's necessary to actually step up and be the rock on which people can lean on. (the ending when Yun-Fat Chow's character dies is one of the most heart breaking sequences I can think of. It's so hard to watch her try so hard to be strong for him when he's clearly dieing, but she's doing it for no other reason but the fact that she loves him and knows that he needs that).

And I suppose this is why I've started writing again and working on my stories. I've been feeling incredibly drained when it comes to creativity. I don't know why but I've been feeling an incredibly massive level of disconnect between creating the characters that I want to create. Everyone feels contrived. Everyone felt so forced. So repetitive. And then I watched crouching tiger and I... I just started writing again. I guess watching that movie again helped a lot of things click in my head. I learned a lot from it in terms of really re-learning how human interactions worked whether it be something incredibly intimate or an interaction based entirely on tension and aggression. I feel like a lot of that has to do with the fact that it was in another language, so a lot of my getting the film had to do with registering body language and really seeing the kinds of emotions that were behind what it is that's being translated.

Truth be told, I'm excited again. I'm excited to be working on this story again. I'm excited that my characters are alive again and that they don't feel so two dimensional. The comic is still untitled (and if you haven't pieced it together yet, it's the comic story containing Nadia, Tessa and Mathis), but I honestly don't care. I'm actually figuring out more of what the story's about and the kind of focus that I want it to have as well as the tone. There's a lot of gaping holes that used to exist in the story originally that are finally being filled, including and most importantly who Mathis is and the kind of role he actually plays since I've realized that my male characters tend to only exist as love interests and that's it. Mathis is an actual character now and I'm excited to meet him. He has his own tone, his own way of carrying himself and for the love of all things properly written, he actually has a real history that's not just 'he's rich and didn't like it'. Tessa's not just the overly energetic, overly outspoken person with a dreary past (honestly, truth be told, she was borderline mary sue-esque). She grows and learns and there's just a new level of complexity that's been added to how she functions that makes her so much more relateable. The girl properly gets stronger and evolves and ah! It's just wonderful. And Nadia? Jeez. In a lot of ways she's the exact same, but I've finally realized how I want her to grow. ... Well no. I guess that's not exact. I've always know how I wanted her to grow, I just... had a hard time vocalizing it. Now it doesn't seem forced anymore and it doesn't seem like there's huge jumps and skips in between how she starts and who she ends up being. The story in itself is flowing a lot more clearly and I'm so excited that I can properly label it a trilogy because I know exactly what's happening and how it's happening. Oddly enough I ended up starting from the end and worked my way to the beginning but somehow it just worked. I guess it's because I always knew how I wanted it to end and how I wanted it to begin, and maybe it's my dyslexia, but going from beginning to end just never worked.

So yeah.

Keep your eyes peeled. It's another story that I can add to my list of stories that I'm revamping that I'm officially feeling confident in. I also haven't properly started storyboarding Narcoleptic Insomnia but I got so wrapped up in trying to figure this story out and working that I haven't gotten the chance to. But I think getting the rough initial boards of the entire three book part of that comic is going to be my 'keeping sane' project.

At any rate, the tl;dr version of this is that I love Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and watching it helped me sort out a shit load of writing issues in stories that I've been having problems with.